SoBe a Pedicabber.

Days 14-18 Commuter Days


On Monday night, I went out for just a few hours to pedicab and get the city in my head a little more. I met Jay, the owner of Ocean View Rickshaw, and he asked me didn't I feel silly wearing plaid shorts with a Hawaiian shirt (that he makes us wear) I said no, I wear them all the time. And what I didn't say was that the Hawaiian shirt was what made me feel silly. But hey, he gave me a job, I'm not here to challenge him, I'm here to make money and blog about it. NERD. Why don't you go blog about it, you dipshit. He let them slide for the day, but later in the evening, I saw him out on Las Olas and he brings me two pairs of shorts he just bought for me, hands me the receipt and says I can write it off. I guess he's a dude! Right on.

Before work that day, I had aggressively pursued efficiencies in the South Beach, and North Beach, areas. There are so many vacancies and signs for rental/sale that I'm starting to grasp the scope of the recession. Score for me. It looked like something was about to happen as I rolled through North Beach on my way to Fort Lauderdale. I just started calling numbers on the sides of houses and one guy was ready to come on by and show me a place. He looked like a tropical Marlon Brando-lite, and sounded like James Earl Jones. He showed me a few apartments and we made a verbal agreement that I would give him $600 in exchange for a one bedroom apartment for about three weeks, with a $500 security deposit. Fine, no problem. I got very excited because I was about to land my own place and I was only two blocks from the beach. So the next thing I did was to set up a bank account because the genius forgot his Northeastern Regional Bank (tm) checkbook. In the setup of the account, they asked me where I wanted my new debit card sent. I almost gave them my new address, but thought better and told them to send it to the pedicab shop. Again, my intuition knew something.

So I'm feeling pretty good about myself and I decide since it is a Tuesday and not much is going on, that I'll take one of their actual rickshaws out for a run around. I didn't expect to be out long-I still had to drop my rent check off to the guy I've already programmed into my phone as "Mark My Landlord" on my way to the Boston College University of Miami basketball game. I ran the thing about two miles all the way to the beach, managed to score a few rides, and I guess even in a ludicrous Hawaiian shirt, girls can still think you're hot if you are physically running them and two friends from one place to the other because this girl insta-facebooked me.

The rickshaw is kinda fun-it becomes a lot easier when you have people in the back-you get to kinda float on the upward tipped front and take giant moon steps while running. The passengers get a weird kind of show out of this, and you can actually jump up with the whole rig and have the back tail pipes drag on the ground while you do acrobatic looking shit in front of your disoriented guests. Nobody is sure if that is supposed to happen, sometimes not even the driver. The only problem is, once you are out getting rides with this thing, you have to bring it back to the shop. One is faced with the decision-I'm very tired, just ran like four or five miles, some of it pulling people, so shall I walk this thing back to the shop and be back in 45 minutes, or run and be back in 20? Ahhh.....feck, I'll run.

I got a hold of the landlord the on my way down to the game (finally), and suddenly he had to think about it! Are you serious? I have a money order that I got specifically to give to you!" (name not written out yet) We had a verbal agreement! Oh you thought we had a verbal agreement? Then I'm just going to pass on the whole thing. He hung up! Asshole! Good thing I didn't send him my debit card.

God never closes a door without kicking you in the balls and laughing and then you find 20 bucks on the ground while gasping for air, that's what I always say.

I went down to the game to hang out with BC contemporary Ken Bereski, quite possibly the biggest fan of Boston College athletics I've ever encountered. Joining us were my friend Mallory and Ken's girlfriend Anna. Mallory and I waited outside for Ken who bikes like 40 miles daily, or some insane number. He rolls up with "For Boston" by Dropkick Murphys blaring from his bike stereo rig, and we wait another few minutes while his scalper buddy comes up and gives him free tickets for all of us. We found our good seats in the small arena, and Ken proceeds to be "that guy" which is uncomfortable at first, but ultimately infectious. We are the only two people shouting DE-FENSE for BC, and between this and the constant jeers Ken lobs out to the UM players when they attempt free throws, he's managed to turn the entire student section of UM students against us. Perhaps this video link will help you understand why. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYFLkY-AZmg I was being cursed at, told BC sucks, a guy made the "blowjob, you're gay" gesture at me--you know, the tongue in cheek with moving hand one? Yeah, that one. It was great! BC started coming back, and the previously safely enraged members of said student section were now insecure and afraid they would look like big big toolbags when UM lost. When BC finally did overcome their 12 or 14 point deficit from the first half to win, Mr. Gestures continued to tell me to get the fuck out of here, fuck you (all of this discernible from a distance of 150 feet with no volume), he proceeds to pick up all the little foam things that are used to distract visiting players when they shoot free throws, I expect to reuse at the next game he will make lewd gestures at fans of the visitors. I guess he is a leader among them. Stay green, Mr. Gestures.

During all this Ken has suggested to me that he and his girl have a flexible housing situation in which they could offer me a room in South Beach. Without going into extensive detail, it is another one of those gifts that drop in front of me that I suspiciously open and is surprisingly not a dick in a box. So that's where I live now. Send care packages to:....ask for it

Wednesday was a sort of wash. I didn't much feel like working, considering my body was a little roughed up from rickshawing, so Mike and I went for a nice ride up to Aventura and back, somewhere in the 20-25 miles range. I then moved most of my stuff into Ken and Anna's, and consulted beeradvocate.com for ideas about bars I could try in South Beach, deciding to make a little pub crawl for myself. I ended up at Ladies Night at the Abraxas Lounge. there were like three ladies there. WOOOP WOOOOP! What a party. Managed to sit down next to the only person in the bar who was smoking. The bartender was rad, and I think Floridians love the freebee exchange in general, because after one or two, I think it was two, Emmanuel hooked me up with a free Delerium Tremens. Incidentally, it was my 100th beer, and it was free!

I tried to find a new place, but passed by The Abbey, felt it was an omen, and entered. Impatience? Laziness? Parched? No, simply heeding intuition once again. The bartender only remembered me when I mentioned I knocked over a glass of very expensive beer. I sat down next to a guy who is a stagehand in Florida, and we had plenty of common ground and we ended up knowing some of the same people, and he was a total dude and bought me a beer too, and then left his computer in the bar. He had an 8 am work call, he is the head of the project, and it was easily past 1 am when he left. A weekday warrior.

Thursday, I dragged so slowly that I didn't quite make it to the beach during the day, so I just went out to ride. My tips only style got a few guys annoyed because they weren't selling rides at all and I was. Go cry about it, I made money and you sat there with your feet up where your balls ought to be. Today I got out to the beach, finally, but five minutes after I laid out, the clouds came and screwed it. The water ruled, about as warm as it ever gets in Boston, so swimming was less obligatory and more simply a pleasure to do. Tonight's shift was ups and downs. My pedispirit was so low that I nearly went in with a pittance, but just as I pulled over to mope and text someone about it, a ride appeared before my very eyes and exploded my momentum in the other direction. Sick. Now I'm starting to climb up out of the spending that got me down here.

Statistics:

3 trips to Total Wine and Spirits, a store that allows your to mix n match your own six pack from a giant wall of single beers.
$$ made
$125 to rent the pedicab for one week
20 days I went without paying rent to anyone.
600 dollars for the room I'm renting in South Beach.
30 miles x 2 on my daily commute
5 crying babies in the starbucks where I began logging this entry.


Beers from...

Day 13 (cont'd)

87 Highland IPA @Marsh's

Day 14 Marsh's

88 Terrapin Big Hoppy Monster
89 Brooklyn Local 1
90 Dogfishhead 60 minute IPA
91 Dogfishhead 60 minute IPA

Day 15 pedicab shop/Marsh's

92 Saint Bernardus Tripel
93 White Hawk IPA
94 Rogue Dead Guy Ale
95 Eye of the Hawk Ale

Day 16

96 Stone IPA @Abraxas Lounge
97 Cigar City IPA (top five beers of the trip)
98 St Bernardus 12 draught
99 Delerium Tremens draught
100 Delerium Tremens draught (free! 100th beer special! Thanks, Emmanuel!)
101 Fin du Monde @The Abbey
102 Brother Aaron's Quadrupel (Thanks Mark!)

Day 17 shop

103 Full Sail IPA
104 Loose Cannon Hop Cubed Pilsner
105 Corona

Day 18 shop

106 Fin du Monde bottle
107 St. Bernardus Pater 6
108 Loose Cannon small craft warning uber pils

Damn. It's hard to keep up when I suddenly start devoting large chunks of time to work. Next week, we'll know who will be in the Superbowl, and Probowl people will start arriving. I think business is about to explode.